Who knew that K. C. and the Sunshine Band didn’t just spout out fodder for wedding reception dances? After listening to “Please Don’t Go”, I kind of wish that’s all there was to them. When K. C. belts out dance albums, he at least sounds authoritative, or energetic, or something that makes all the bachelorettes jump up and stumble to the dance floor. When he’s singing a lovelorn ballad like this, he sounds ridiculously nasal and impossibly earnest, a bit like a ferret whining to be let out of its cage. K. C. does the usual rationalizing with the departing woman of his dreams, first telling her not to go, then saying that even is she does leave, he’s lucky to have had her love him, and then resorting to begging her (damn her deaf ears, can’t you hear him?) to not leave. And musically it’s a lot of dreamy wispy nothing until toward the very end, they turn up the mike on the bass guitar so you can hear it thumping like… what exactly? Her cold heart as she walks out the door? We don’t have much time to think about that, because then K. C. does a really pathetic voiceover, and it’s over. Really we’ve heard this all before, and we’ll hear more or less the same on any given day on the charts, only perhaps not as haplessly as this. And yet, this hit #1. What a way to end the first week of 1980.